Thursday, December 22, 2011

REFLECTIONS ON PSALMS 37:3-6 & MY WEIGHT LOSS...

Psalms 37: 3-6 "Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday"


There is so much to be said about this passage. I will highlight what stands out the most to me but allow God to speak directly to your heart...

1. Trust in the LORD = This weight loss journey, and life and general, cannot be done with great peace and success outside of leaning on God every single step of the way. I mean really, how many times have we tried on our own to be successful to only fail because time after time we have attempted to do well, in our own strength...

2. Befriend Faithfulness = Goals mean nothing if we are not willing to see them through. The greatest failure that I have seen in this journey is people’s unwillingness to remain faithful, through doubt, disappointment, fear, frustration, temptations, etc etc. At the end of the day, I have made it this far, not because I have supernatural powers but because of my decision to remain committed and consistent. I am not the strongest athlete nor the most disciplined eater BUT, I AM FAITHFUL to pushing past, to enduring...this race is not given to the swift but to the one who ENDURES...this applies to EVERY AREA OF LIFE not just weight loss. We will never experiences the fruit, the joys that we seek in this life if we are not willing to BEFRIEND FAITHFULNESS...you can’t live on the mountaintop without climbing the mountain.

3. Delight in the Lord/Desires of your heart = It’s really easy to get antsy to get so close to your goal and get distracted by reaching the goal that you forget that this journey has always been about who God is crafting and creating you to be. I know first hand that as long as my eyes are set on Him, He will fulfill me. He will give me all that it requires to conquer and as I see myself conquering in this area of life, my hope and faith factor grows. My desires in life increase because I begin to realize that there is actually life out there for me to live and as my desires grow, I become more confident in the fact that God will produce goodness in my life, as I entrust my heart to him...Remember, God will never begin a journey in your life that He is has not already determined to get you across the finish line. And as I sit here, yet to have reached my finish line, with confidence I can still proclaim, as I delight in Him, He will produce in me and in my life. GOD FIRST, GOALS SECONDARY.

4. Commit/He Will Act = As stated before, God is moved by our willingness to trust Him. But until we are willing to commit to Him, His desires for us will never be produced in our lives. God wants us to choose Him. He could force us to choose Him be we were created be be in relationship with him, not to be His robots. I promise you, you will never wake up skinny or healthy. God is not going to work an overnight miracle in your life. God is in the business of creating life partners...God wants a relationship and not a robot. My addiction to food and forced me to t rust God and to trust that even in my addiction, He is more powerful and when I am honest with my weakness and commit my struggle to him, trust in His power, HE WILL ACT! Until I am willing to commit to God, I will always live defeated by my addiction to food but if I dare to commit to HIS PROMISE and HIS WAY, I am setup to SUCCEED AND THRIVE....GOD WILL ACT AND HE DOES ACT...TRUST HIM!!!

5. Your Righteousness as Light = Now this, I can testify to. You never ever have to settle or compromise. In Christ, you stick to His way and the righteous life you live will be a light in your world. I made a commitment to God that I would always give him the glory for my weight loss journey. No person, program, even myself, would get credit for what ONLY GOD could empower me to do. And because of this, my life has become ministry to the hopeless. God’s righteousness in me has become light in darkness...God is using my story to redeem hope in the hopeless...When you commit your way to the Lord, He will take the lowly, feeble, weak and redeem it and cause it be be a light BUT YOU CAN’T COMPROMISE. As Christians living in a world that rejects truth and godliness, it is difficult to stand for righteousness but in order to ever reap the fruits of kingdom labor, you must labor as the KING HAS INSTRUCTED. The promises of God come with obedience...If He is Lord than the requires us to submit. We often want the prize without the path....May God perfect righteousness in us that our lives may be a light in this dark world...Regardless of your sphere of influence, God is expecting us to rise to the occasion, shoot for His standard and SHINE!!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

BEASTMODE PART 2...CHECK ME OUT



WEEK 1 RESULTS...



WEEK 2 RESULTS



WEEK 3 RESULTS



WEEK 4 RESULTS



WEEK 5 RESULTS



WEEK 6 - FINAL WEIGH IN RESULTS!!!!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

MY EPIPHANY ABOUT FOOD & FEELINGS!

I realize that i eat/ate so much because i really enjoy the taste of food and i get a lot of food because i don't want that taste to cease but the reality of it is that, IT WILL CEASE.

there will come a moment that i am no longer eating that dish. so the question becomes, "not if the moment will cease but, when will the moment cease?" and more so, after that moment has ceased, "how do i feel? and what are the lasting results of my decision?"

for example, "I can eat one cookie or the entire bag BUT at some point i will no longer be eating the cookie and how will i feel about myself and how will my body be impacted after i make the decision?"

if i eat one cookie, i would have enjoyed the taste of the cookie, i will feel good about myself and i would not have gained weight/unhealthy side effects OR i can eat the whole bag, enjoy the taste, feel extremely guilty and down about myself and my body would have been negatively impacted....make sense?

i know my thought process on food is extensive but it is what it takes to help me make good decisions

Saturday, July 2, 2011

6 WEEK CHALLENGE = -30 POUNDS. BEGINS 7/5/11







I am excited. nervous, fearful. but determined. Life has had its share of beating up on me and I have given in, without a fight, way too many times. Obesity cannot win in my life and I need the mental focus and discipline to do what I need to do these next few weeks. Thirty pounds in six weeks is a very lofty goal but NEVERTHELESS it is my goal and I am GONG FOR IT. I am calling the next six weeks of my life "OPERATION BEAST MODE".... I know that I have to be extremely focused and dedicated for this to happen. Plus I really want to be out of the category of "overweight" by the end of this year....BELOW ARE MY ENTRY PICTURES...








RESULTS AFTER THE FIRST WEEK...



RESULTS AFTER THE SECOND WEEK...



RESULTS AFTER THE THIRD WEEK...



RESULTS AFTER THE FOURTH WEEK...



RESULTS AFTER THE FIFTH WEEK...



FINAL RESULTS AFTER 6 WHOLE WEEKS...


Thursday, June 2, 2011

95 Days of Summer - day 1 - ANNIVERSARY VIDEO!



I just want to take the time to stop and thank every single person who has always believed in me, even since I was a kid. This season of my life is just very raw and very emotional for me because it symbolizes so much for me. When I was a kid, I never imagined that I would be the me that I am today. I kinda always had this sort of joy in life and love for people but I just grew very afraid to live.

I often compare myself to the character of Esther, in the Bible and you guys, my followers, my church family, my school family, my biological family, my adopted family have all been my Mordecai. Esther was in a predicament where she needed to step outside of her comfort zone and risk her life in order to save her people. Esther was deathly afraid and did not believe that she had what it took to perform the task at hand, but Mordecai believed in her and her people believed in her. Mordecai encouraged her, spoke words of hope and wisdom into her. Her nation prayed for her. However, Esther did not believe in herself.

I often feel like Esther. For, when I did not believe in myself, I had a community of people who believed in me and encouraged me. People who see/saw in me beyond what I saw in myself. I can’t thank you guys enough for being my Mordecai. For pushing me when I did not think there was anything in me. For loving me and encouraging me and speaking words of hope and victory into me when I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t feel it. My perspective was like” Ahhh they don’t really know me.” But I’ve come to realize that I DIDN’T REALLY KNOW ME. I allowed myself to be blinded by my insecurities, and my fears, and m apprehensions....that I could not see the me that you guys saw/see and for that, I SAY THANK YOU.

My weight loss symbolizes much more than my physical appearance but what God has done on the inside of me is merely a reflection of what God has done in the inside. The inside has gone through much more of a transformation that my body could ever potentially go through and I am just in awe in this season of my life. I thank God for this journey. I see it as ministry and I believe that God has given me the ministry of, “Setting the Captives Free” and that He is empowering me with His Spirit, through my story, through my life, through my pain, through my sorrow, through my triumph to minister hope in the midst of brokenness. If God has to use my brokenness to bring glory to Himself, to win souls for his Kingdom, and to build and affirm His church to affirm that there is still a living God, there is still a healer, there is still a balm in Gilead, there is still life left in Zion.....I am honored to be that vessel.

So, here I am one year later since I recommitted my journey and I declare that, with God for me, who can be against me? God will genuinely take brokenness and turn it into beauty and that nothing that you have endured in your life is a waste. I love Jesus and as long as I have breath, and the grace of God enables me to, I will proclaim His name to the nations...that He took a girl who had settled for coasting and He said, “I have greatness for you.”...

Whatever it is in your life that you have settled for, I pray that God would shake the foundations of your life, to such a point that settling feels like failure and that you have no other option to but ABANDON FEAR AND TRUST GOD....that is my prayer!

Thank you all for loving me and encouraging me and being God’s tool, God’s vehicle to love me. I never used to realize that God genuinely loved me. Not just in theory but functionally, day in and day out God loves and pursues me and engaged in my life. I thank God that today, with confidence, I can say that I know God loves me....I don’t know how much God loves me because I don’t think the human mind can fathom the depths of God’s love but at the end of the day, “I know God loves me and HE LOVES YOU TOO.”

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Chapter 3- May

IT'S BEEN A GOOD CHAPTER OF THIS JOURNEY....SEE HOW I AM CLOSING IT!

Friday, May 20, 2011

DANCING OFF THE FAT...I LOVE TO DANCE - Mobile.m4v

Dancing is a great form of exercise and healing to my soul so, I GET IT IN!

MY PANTS - Mobile.m4v

HERE ARE THE PANT THAT MADE MY MORNING!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Chapter 3 April Challenge Results

APRIL HAS BEEN AN AMAZING MONTH FOR ME...SEE MY CHALLENGE RESULTS AND HEAR A LITTLE ABOUT MY TRIP TO CHICAGO FOR THE OPRAH SHOW!


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Thoughts Before THE OPRAH SHOW!!!!

So this is crazy....I am sitting here getting ready to go to Harp Studio because I was invited to the Oprah Finale Weight Loss Show. Is this really happening? I was one of 100 people who have lost 100 pounds or more and have in some way been inspired by Oprah herself or someone on a past show.

Who knew this would be where my journey leads? Who knew that when I was in tears because I did not make the Biggest Loser, last year, that I would be sitting in this hotel room getting ready to head out to Harpo Studios to be apart of the festivities. I can't believe this. Though I am happy, I don't feel like it has hit me yet.

I just know that God has great plans for my future. I am sooooo blessed and overwhelmed with joy. As a child I hoped for great things to happen to me and then I stopped hoping. I stopped hoping and I began wishing. See hope means that we have a confident expectation. Many of us say that we hope for things to occur but what we are really saying is that we wish, it would be really nice but we don't have hope. We don't have a confident expectation that goodness would shower our lives and so we just live, complacent, mediocre, just existing type of lives and we wait....we wait for someone to pour into us.

Well, 3 years ago I stopped waiting for others to value me, in order to feel sufficient. I decided that if I valued myself then I needed to pour into my own life and thus, my journey to freedom from obesity began and here I am, 3 years later, 150 pounds loss getting ready to head out to Harpo Studios!

Oprah said two things in her Master Class Interview that stood out to me. "God can dream a bigger dream for me than I could ever dream for myself." See, when I started this journey it was solely about freedom. I had no expectations of others caring or investing in my life. I just wanted to live a full and abundant, fear-free, joyous life and along the way I began to hope for some things that did not occur, like the biggest loser. But in the face of that disappointment, what I did not know was God had bigger dreams for me and so today, my prayer is, "Lord fulfill YOUR dreams for me!"

Secondly, she said that she learned in the 3rd grade, "When you do well, people notice." I took that as saying, not that you live your life to perform for others but when you do well, it is a natural progression that others will notice. This journey has proven that for me. I am so excited to be here because there are other people here who share in my story. In my everyday life, I don't know anyone who has lost over 100 pounds naturally and that shows me that God is positioning me to show my surroundings that, you too can do this...that, MY DOING WELL, is not just about me but a testimony to others that the "SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE!" I am a living witness....that when you look fear in the face and say, "LET'S GO," MIRACLES HAPPEN!

Soooooooo, with great excitement and uncertainty, I head to the studio and as soon as I know the air date, I will share it with you all!!!!!!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Chapter 3 - March Challenge Results






JUNE 1ST 2010 VS. MARCH 31ST 2011 (47pound difference)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

BISCUIT AND FRENCH FRIES...

So Monday is my weigh in for the end of February and I am a little frustrated. I feel like I've been working hard and I will lose some weight and then gain some. This cycle can be really tiring. I am forever, intentionally, making decisions that are healthy....and trust me, I enjoy being healthy! But I must admit, it gets tiring when the weight is not dropping as I anticipate....

So, I just walked in the house and the family is eating Pop Eyes. I have been avoiding unhealthy food ALL DAY. I was at a workshop at my school. Every opportunity for ice cream or cookies I passed up, telling myself "IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" I've been doing this EAT-CLEAN DIET and exercising 5 days a week and drinking at least a gallon of water everyday. But for the past couple of days I've been battling with the reality that I am most likely not going to reach my February goal of 8-10lbs. I'm just so tired. I'm not quitting but I am tired.

Anyways, I ate some french fries and a biscuit. Keep in mind, it is already 9pm at night. I did not eat the food out of depression or any emotional eating. I just wanted it. But the last 3 years of my life have been actively choosing not to give into the idea of "I just want it" but for some reason, I don't feel bad about my decision but I know there are consequences that I don't want to endure. But I am conflicted. I am not sure how to feel, honestly.

One part of me is like, "Liana, it's ok. You didn't mess up. You ate something you wanted so keep pushing" The other part of me is like, "Liana is that a self-destructive mentality? Are you trying to convince yourself that you are ok with the decision but you really aren't?"

140plus pounds loss and I, for some reason, still fear that I will never make it to maintenance. Eating to lose weight is a whole different ball game that just eating a maintained healthy lifestyle. People who are trying to lose weight or actively losing weight know what I mean. There is the realty that everything you put in your mouth has you questioning if it will help or hinder the weight loss. It can become extremely tiring and I'M TIRED! I am tired of having to ALWAYS thinkg about the scale, inches, clothing sizes, rolls on my back, cellulite in between my thighs, two stomachs and etc. I'M TIRED....not quitting, not giving in, not hopeless, JUST TIRED!

Was it ok to eat the french fries and biscuit? I don't know but I did. Ultimately, I fear that I will fail you guys. That you would somehow look to me for inspiration and see a failure in the end. I fear that I will not live up to my own words of motivation. That I stuck my neck out there and I didn'tt even know if I realized how hard this would be. It is a blessing to know I encourage people but a burden I carry every day. I don't want your hope to be hindered by my failure or lack of progress....I want to get there so that you can have an example of a CONQUEROR but I am scared and tired and a bit worried but NOT QUITTING!

Monday, January 31, 2011

CHAPTER 3 - January Weight Loss Update

WEEK 36 PICS AND WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE

So far I have lost 140lbs. I loss 3lbs this month. I wanted to lose more but I am ok with what I have done. I am still fighting the good fight. Check out my most recent picts






Friday, January 28, 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

"Have you learned nothing?" I am so glad that these are not God's words to me. What am I talking about? As many of you know, I started this journey 3 years ago. I have been fighting obesity in my life and with it, has come many ups and downs (more ups than downs however).

I set out this month to lose 10lbs and it is not going to happen. I just got home from a 2-week trip in Atlanta where for the first 1/2 of the trip, I was snowed in the house, on top of the fact that my relatives don't share my same healthy life style. There were many temptations. Some I gave in on and some I resisted. I LOVE FRENCH FRIES and I probably had them 4xs while I was there, on top of other things I ate on my tirp: biscuits, hashrowns, chips, candy etc. Don't get me wrong, I took every opportunity I could to shower my body with veggies, even had my aunt get me a big bag of spinach from costco and drank lots of carrot juice and water. I ate as healthily as I could and I also indulged in minimal "bad foods".

I just weighed myself this morning and I gained a pound. The old Liana would have been down on herself but I am not. It's like, "Why the heck would I beat up on myself after 3 years? Are you kidding me?" It would be as if I have learned nothing. Considering my vacation, a pound is nothing. What I mean is, you cannot disregard life and limit your evaluation to only the scale. In my attempt to be free from obesity, I cannot enslave myself to the process of losing weight. I tell people all the time, "This is a mind battle, Baby!"

YOU KNOW, I REFUSE TO FIGHT SO HARD TO SAVE MY BODY THAT I LOSE MY MIND IN THE PROCESS!

While I desire to reach my goal this year and be totally free from obesity, if it takes another 3 years, I will still conclude, it was all worth it. Take note, it will not take me another 3 years but my point is, I have gained so much over these past three years. I have gained much more than the 130-140lbs that I have lost. I have drive, confidence, love, security, peace, hope, vision, compassion, openness, vulnerability, perspective, genuineness, joy, happiness, foundation, trust, relentlessness, motivation and so much more that all cannot be undermined because i gained a pound.

I was reminded the other day that if I never lose another pound, so what? My identity is not in weight loss. However, it is in Christ alone! If I gain it all back (which I won't), but if I did, my identity and value are STILL, in Christ alone! That is how much I am worth to Him. I did nothing to gain His love and validation and I can do absolutely nothing to lose it. But in His strength, I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR AND WILL FACE EVER DEMON/OBSTACLE/TRIAL this life will throw at me.

It is my hope that you nor I will ever lose focus....never focus so much on now that you lose sight of eternity. My body matters a lot to me but God is doing a greater work in my heart and this process is just the avenue He has chose to do it through. Your issue may not be weight but God is trying to teach you a lesson.

Let God not say to you, "HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?"

JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST OBESITY! send people you know to my page

http://www.facebook.com/pages/WatchQueenLose-Victory-over-Obesity/139783439392774?ref=ts

Monday, January 17, 2011

Join My Mission... #fightobesity

I have a page on facebook committed to fighting obesity. I am striving to get as many people as possible to join the mission and inspire people in their lives. I never realized how God would use my life in this area. I never really stopped long enough to imagine that my weight loss could be a tool for God to reach so many others. I am honored to be His vessel and committed to doing all that I can to help others in this battle. So please, support the movement. Go to my page and pass the word!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/WatchQueenLose-Victory-over-Obesity/139783439392774?ref=ts

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I FEEL TRAPPED....ATL!

I am really struggling right now. I mean really. So, I really have this goal to be at my goal size by my birthday which means i have another 60-70lbs to lose by September. Realistically that will only happen if I lose about 8-10lbs per month between now and September.

I planned on losing 10lbs this month. It is January, the new year and I have already started with a 3-day cleanse which really had me pumped for the month. i knew the difficult part about this month was going to be my 2-week trip of visiting family in ATL but I had it all planned out. I was going to get up every single morning and go for a run and I would go grocery shopping for myself to ensure there were enough of the foods that I eat around me....Well it has not quite worked out like that for me. ATL decided to snow and freeze the streets and for the past 3 days I have been stuck in the house. This means no runs and no access to the grocery store.

My family does not eat like me so there are limited options. I have been doing alot of pushups but no cardio. Though I have been making good use of the stairs in the house. I just feel stuck and afraid. Afraid that I will not lose my 10lbs this month unless something changes in the weather, soon. I really want to be fit by my birthday and I can't afford to slack off now.

Lord please give me the strength to resist the temptations around me and place resources around me to help me be successful even while I am here in ATL. Help me no to beat up on myself but to give myself grace yet to stay focused and diligent on the mission set before me.

Help me to make wiser decisions from here on out and to trust that no matter what, you have not brought me this far to leave me hanging. I need you strength and direction.

These are just my thoughts for now...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

CLEANSE IS OVER & I AM PUMPED!

Starting January 2nd, I embarked on a 3-day apple juice cleanse to get my mind and body ready for the new year. I am ready to knock off the rest of this weight and i knew that I needed to start off with a drastic move like the cleanse because I know the mind power that it takes to lose weight and to stay determined, focused and strengthened on the daily basis. I knew that if I could do the 3-day cleanse then I can do the vegan thing for the rest of the month and just all that it takes to be at my goal size and fitness by my birthday, which is September 1st.

It is my plan to have a huge 25th bday party/ finale party in September which means every decision I make right now either gets me closer to my goal or further from it. I don't have room to slack off, that is if I am serious about where I want to be and when I want to be there. I know the lifestyle of healthy living is never over but obesity in my life MUST be over this year.

I am so passionate about fighting this thing and helping others fight it. Thus, I need to live consistent with what I say. I am ready to knock it off I have already lost 142lbs and I have a little ways left to go but I have come sooooo much further then I have left to go and whenever I see that 142lbs, I know that I am more than capable of finishing this thing.

I am grateful to God for all the support He has put around me. He knows me and knows what I need and I am just in awe at how He continually meets me and my needs. May 2011 be the year of #victoryoverobesity

Saturday, January 1, 2011

CHAPTER 3 - week 32 - Mobile.m4v

First video of the year and I am super excited. Check it out and tell me what you think!