Tuesday, August 17, 2010

week 12 - VLOG....




some reflections on my way to Oakland!!!


I could cry. I am sitting here on the air plane on my way to Oakland to visit Leah and I am feeling surreal right now. I used to despise riding airplanes because of the fear that my seat belt would not fit and several times I had to ask for a seat belt extension and that process was so shameful for me. One time, I was so ashamed that I did not even ask for a seat belt and I mad the seat belt look as if I could actually wear it. That was when I was a freshman in college and we took a trip as a family to Atlanta to see my cousin graduate from college and here i am today 129lbs lighter and I am sitting comfortably on this airplane next to two other gentlemen and I don’t feel like the fat-girl infringing on someone else’s space. Yea I am still 229lbs but I feel normal. I feel like I belong here. I don’t feel like people are looking at me or judging me. I did not hesitate to sit down next to these men. I don’t feel overly self-conscious. I feel comfortable in my own skin. Man, I just feel good. I feel free. I feel liberated to just be me!

3 comments:

  1. This is beautiful Lili. Now that you're active, you want to stay that way, right? I need more activity now! My body is telling me, more more more! Hahaha. I love it.

    Hang on to this feeling when you feel like you don't want to push anymore. Remember how good it feels. <3

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  2. You came to OAKLAND?!?!? OMG! You should have contacted me...I would have LOVED to see you! How was your visit? Hit me on FB :o)

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