Friday, July 9, 2010
Reflections on Day 39...my morning workout
I woke up late and rushed to the gym in order to take my 6am spin class. I had not been going as consistently as I had plan to so I was a bit out of the routine of the class and thus the first 8 minutes really took a toll on me. As I got back into my groove I started to do a little better but for some reason, this class was kicking my butt. I mean half way into it, I felt as if my body was giving out on me. Nevertheless, I kept pushing. I vowed to myself to never leave the spin class early. I can slow down and go at my own pace but never ever quit. So I pushed and pushed, legs killing me, sweat dripping off my face onto the bike and I was just aching. I get to a point where there were 10 minutes left and I began talking to myself, “There are way too many people encouraged by you, Liana you cannot quit. Keep pushing. You can’t tell people to face their obstacles and then give up on yourself. This bike is like a Goliath to you and you will defeat Goliath. Life will no longer beat up on you. You will fight back. NOW PUSH! You can do this. You can do this. This is easy. It is all mental. Pain is weakness leaving your body. You are strong. You are a fighter.” For five minutes I had to talk to myself like that and what happens, one of my favorite songs comes on for me to finish the class strong. It was Mary J. Blige “Just Fine.” See God will show up in what seems small but makes a world of a difference. I needed to finish that class strong and I did. I cycled like my life depended on it. The words and beat to that song just take me to a whole nother level. I could not even feel that pain, I was so focused on riding and singing that song. I was half-way dancing and it just felt good. I could have gone on and on if she put that song on repeat. God really loves me. I began to tear up because the song has lines such as, “I’m just fine...No time for moping around. are u kidding? and no time for negative vibes ‘cause im winning...I like what I seem when I’m looking at me when I'm walking past that mirror...i aint gonna let nothing get in my way. no matter what anyone has to say...got my head on straight, got my mind right. aint gonna let u kill it...my life is just fine.” I finally feel like that about myself and what better song to end a long, hard workout to than one that reminds me of how great I really am that I am sufficient without the approval of others. Oh for HE is my suffeciency and in HIM I lack nothing. God of wonders how you heal my soul.