Tuesday, July 27, 2010

week 9 - VLOG---eating and exercise

WEEK 9:...ive officially lost 20lbs this summer....

this has been quite an amazing week.... i have lost 6lbs this week and 20lbs the entire summer. I began at 256lbs at my June 1st weigh-in and TODAY, I am 236lbs....DOES LIFE GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS???

Sunday, July 25, 2010

destination vs. journey

you know i've really been thinking lately. pondering and reflecting over this weight loss process i have been in...

people often say to me, "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey"...i say, "The Hell With That!...it's definitely about the destination and im grateful for the woman i am becoming on this journey"...I started my weight loss journey in 2007 and i await my final destination but in the meantime, I enjoy the woman God is molding me to be.

i must say, when i began i never imagined the level of heart and life transformation that would take place. i never knew the joy and freedom to live that God would give me. I couldn't hope for the amount of peace i have in my life because some things God gives that we don't even request. He just gives it because it is sooo good for us. at the same time, i am over 100lbs closer to my goal and i wait, a little anxious, to knock off the last leg...i figure i have about 90 more pound to go but we shall see...im gonna base it on what i see in the mirror not on what the scale says.

i've never been more encouraged by myself while anxious at the same time. is it wrong for me to want this part of the journey to be over? is it wrong for me to long to finally reach my destination? is it really wrong? i feel like when people say, "you are anxious to be done" like if i agreed with that comment that in some way or another, it is a negative thing. i mean geeze....i started at about 350lbs....who can blame me? i've put literal sweat and tears into this process...invested in my own liberation and now i am learning to wait but i i will never deny that I AM READY for it it be OVER!!! not ashamed and not apologetic....

howver, enjoying the JOURNEY while i press towards towards the DESTINATION!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

week8 - vlog...such an impactful week!!!

check out the pics below

WEEK 8: weight up but body down...check it out

as i stated in my blog, i actually gained a pound this week. i think it is because i re-inserted meat into my diet which i will be taking out again. i am not beating up on myself however because weight loss is iffy like that. i could have actually gained a pound for numerous reasons....muscle build, changes in diet, stress, lack of sleep, need a bow movement....nevertheless, my clothes are still changing...CHECK OUT THE PANTS PIC and i am going to take meat back out of my diet and see how i do in the following weeks....so fish , beans, fruits and veggies HERE I COME....next week i will show u all more about my diet and what i do for excercise...until then, GOD BLESS!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

week7.mov VLOG

Week7....so proud of ME...

I am soooo happy with life right now....i'm tackling my giants, conquering my fears, pursing my dreams and settling for nothing less than happiness...wish i had a good guy to share that with but with time, HE WILL COME!!! anywho, soooo the results are in

Staring Weight (6/1/10) = 256lbs

Weekly Loss = 1lb

Total Loss = 15lbs

Current Weight (7/13/10) = 241lbs

Friday, July 9, 2010

Reflections on Day 39...my morning workout

I woke up late and rushed to the gym in order to take my 6am spin class. I had not been going as consistently as I had plan to so I was a bit out of the routine of the class and thus the first 8 minutes really took a toll on me. As I got back into my groove I started to do a little better but for some reason, this class was kicking my butt. I mean half way into it, I felt as if my body was giving out on me. Nevertheless, I kept pushing. I vowed to myself to never leave the spin class early. I can slow down and go at my own pace but never ever quit. So I pushed and pushed, legs killing me, sweat dripping off my face onto the bike and I was just aching. I get to a point where there were 10 minutes left and I began talking to myself, “There are way too many people encouraged by you, Liana you cannot quit. Keep pushing. You can’t tell people to face their obstacles and then give up on yourself. This bike is like a Goliath to you and you will defeat Goliath. Life will no longer beat up on you. You will fight back. NOW PUSH! You can do this. You can do this. This is easy. It is all mental. Pain is weakness leaving your body. You are strong. You are a fighter.” For five minutes I had to talk to myself like that and what happens, one of my favorite songs comes on for me to finish the class strong. It was Mary J. Blige “Just Fine.” See God will show up in what seems small but makes a world of a difference. I needed to finish that class strong and I did. I cycled like my life depended on it. The words and beat to that song just take me to a whole nother level. I could not even feel that pain, I was so focused on riding and singing that song. I was half-way dancing and it just felt good. I could have gone on and on if she put that song on repeat. God really loves me. I began to tear up because the song has lines such as, “I’m just fine...No time for moping around. are u kidding? and no time for negative vibes ‘cause im winning...I like what I seem when I’m looking at me when I'm walking past that mirror...i aint gonna let nothing get in my way. no matter what anyone has to say...got my head on straight, got my mind right. aint gonna let u kill it...my life is just fine.” I finally feel like that about myself and what better song to end a long, hard workout to than one that reminds me of how great I really am that I am sufficient without the approval of others. Oh for HE is my suffeciency and in HIM I lack nothing. God of wonders how you heal my soul.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Week6.mov VLOG

check out the pics in the post below...im doing yall...im doing it!!!

Week6....THEY ZIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starting Weight = 256lbs

Weekly Loss = 1lb

Total Loss = 14lbs

Current Weight = 242lbs

I am soooo excited but I know I have to push harder to get the results I want. As you can see, the pants have FINALLY zipped but I have a ways to go before they fit comfortably and I can wear them with an outfit. Stay motivated people because it is soooo woth it.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Reflections on Day 33....re-living my life

What a beautiful Saturday! Today was absolutely the best day of my week. I just returned home about two hours ago from the beach. I went biking from Venice Beach to Palos Verdes and all the way back, which was about a 10-12 mile distance. Old Liana would have never gone. I would allow thoughts to haunt me, “Awww, you won’t be able to keep up with everyone else. You don’t want to be the weak link. What if you can’t bike as far of the rest?” And instead of allowing the situation to play itself out, I always hindered myself from experiencing a possible great time because I would rather self-protect. I would rather live in a state of always guarding possible moments of pain and embarrassment. I did not trust my family that they would love me enough to go at my pace. But rather, I allowed past fears, hurts and embarrassment to dictate every action and decision I made in my life. Well, today was about pushing past the barriers I have created for myself. It was about trusting that life had great things in store for me if I am willing to open my arms and welcome them on. It was about, going at my own pace regardless of what everyone else around me did and the cool part is my pace was their pace. I cruised along just as everyone else did and we rode together as a family. It was good for exercise and great for fun. I feel like I am living life all over again. I am 23 years old and I am facing my fears. Some may say, “Liana you are young, you are just now beginning to live” but when you live your entire childhood in fear, dodging throughout life, guarding and protecting yourself from people and any situation that is a perceived threat to your comfort and a sense of safety and then one day at the age of 21 you decided, “NO MORE”...it becomes very liberating and it seems like a re-birthing of sorts. So, yes I am 23 and I am re-living my life and I am loving it... I feel like I was giving a 2nd chance and I am grateful for every moment of it.