Sunday, June 13, 2010

Reflections on Day 13

This morning I created a milestone....small but significant. I usually run/walk one mile on the treadmill and that would kick my butt. I’m telling you, I was so proud the first day I did that mile and today I pushed myself. I am so used to telling myself what I can or can’t do and when I make up in my mind I can’t do something, I usually don’t put forth the effort because I’m afraid at failing but today...today was a different story. I went to the gym before I went to church and I was on the treadmill. I saw that I had reached one mile quicker than I usually do and I had more strength left in me than I usually do. If I had stopped at that mile it would have been because of routine, not because I did not have more strength left in me. However, in that moment I was afraid that 2 miles would be impossible and I said, “I can’t do this.” But instead of settling at the idea that it was impossible for me to do, I prayed and said, “Lord give me the strength to do this” and in 22 minutes, I complete 2.04 miles and burned 216 calories....whohooo!!! Nobody has to get excited for me because I am so excited for myself. I am used to seeking validation or gaining validation from others but this chapter of my life is teaching me to be proud of me. From this day on when I think I can’t do something, before I determine not to attempt it, I will pray, “Lord give me the strength to do _____.” It is a daily process and some days are harder than others but today, today was a good day and that is all I have to focus on for now. Yesterday is gone and I can only anticipate tomorrow but right now, I can celebrate my today because this day was about triumph...it was about pushing myself and believing that I am more than what I concluded about me. I’m a fighter, even if I have to continue to say it to myself before I believe it. Today, I believe it because I see it. Maybe tomorrow, I will believe it before I see it...

2 comments:

  1. Rock that!
    Jesus is good! He carries us through every moment. Every breath! Even those we pant on a treadmill!
    love you girl!

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  2. Hey Lee...I'm behind you...keep the fatih...push, push...two mile next...

    ReplyDelete